The Smile

Semina's Past



Friday, October 13, 2006

Mother's Day Dinner

Learn to wish that everything should come to pass exactly as it does. Epictetus

“No Semina the roses are too expensive, we will get her the daffodils” Semina and her Father are in the flower shop on Mother’s day. “Semina you have to learn to save your money”
“Yes Father”. He said this to Semina many times and she knows he is right, because he has a lot of money that he has saved.
Semina wanted to buy her Mother beautiful yellow roses, her Mother told her that she loves yellow roses. Semina remembers the time she told her, it was when she was given a big bouquet of yellow roses on the last day of her play.
Her Mother was the star in the play and everybody wanted to talk to her and give her beautiful flowers. Semina was so proud that she was her Mother and that she had been allowed to see the play every night. It was just the first act, because Nanny had to take her home so that she could go to bed. Semina was allowed to go into her Mother’s dressing room and watch her Mother change into another person, the one she was playing. Semina knew that she was still her Mother, behind the makeup and the costume.
Semina saw the whole play two times, once with her Father at the opening and then once when her cousin Greta came to see it. Greta cried and called out “Oh, no she is dead” when in the play her Mother fell on the stage and pretended to faint, just as the curtain went down at the end of the second act. Semina leaned over to her and said “She did not die silly, this is a play, she will be back in the third act” Greta cried and carried on so much that Semina’s Father had to take her back stage to see that her Aunt was still alive. Semina was disgusted with Greta, she should have known that a play is pretend, she is eight years old, four years older than Semina.
When Semina and her Father return home with the flowers, her Mother had the dinner ready, the last dinner they would have together as a family. Her Mother kissed Semina and thanked her for the flowers, then looked at Semina’s Father and said “Thank You” Semina got a little shiver in her back, when she saw her Mother’s face when she said that, it did not look like a thank you look. Then her Mother put the daffodils into a vase and placed them in the center of the table.
Semina has a strange feeling in her tummy and a lump in her throat. So this is how sadness feels Semina thinks to herself, she has never had this kind of sad feeling before.
While they were having dinner Semina looked at the daffodils and had a hard time swallowing anything, she tried because she did not want to make her Mother sad.
Desert was a fresh pineapple. Her Father refused to eat it and said “I don’t want anything from that man” Semina had seen the fresh pineapple in the window of the kitchen for a few days. This was the first time they had seen or had fresh pineapple. Mother had to call someone to ask him how to peal and cut it, he told her how to do it. Semina tried very hard to eat the pineapple and to smile, but it was very hard she had not had this taste before and she did not like it, it hurt her throat. All Semina could think was I don’t like the daffodils, I don’t like the pineapple. But she smiled at her Mother and Father because she did not want to hurt their feelings.
After dinner her Mother cleaned the dishes and the kitchen. Then she picked up the suitcase, that was in the hall and said to Semina “Say goodby to your Father” Semina hugged her Father very hard and kissed him goodby, she noticed that there were tears in his eyes. Then her Mother took her hand and they walked out of the apartment.
Just before the door closed Semina looked back and gave her Father a little smile. Her Father smiled back and gave her a little wave.

Smiled by Semina :: 11:18 AM :: 6 smiles

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At Wednesday, October 18, 2006 11:36:00 AM, Blogger Kyahgirl said...

Oh Semina, this story made me cry. Its so well written and so terribly painful.

At Wednesday, October 18, 2006 11:24:00 PM, Blogger Miz BoheMia said...

Though red is my favorite color, I love yellow roses... and Loverboy knows those are the color to get me...

This was beautiful and oh so touching my dear Semina... I cannot remember the moment of my parent's separation... but she did separate with my real dad many times as well as with my stepdad so I suppose I must have blocked it all...

I feel the little Semina's pain and wish I could just hug her and give her a big kiss and make it all better... but she seems to be a brave one that Semina and I have a feeling she turns out ok! But we need more so tell us!


At Monday, October 23, 2006 8:23:00 PM, Blogger tsduff said...

Don't we see things from a different perspective as a child? This was written with the sharp intensity of one bearing witness. Such a sad story. My parents were only seperated by death - but I was one who put my own children through divorce. It is an awful thing.

At Thursday, October 26, 2006 11:37:00 AM, Blogger Semina said...

Please forgive me, I have been away. Thank you all for coming and supporting Semina :}

Kyahgirl ~ The pain goes away, is forgotten ~ then memories come back because of another hurt, all these years later.

MizBohemia ~ There were yellow roses in my wedding bouquet,I love them.
Semina blocked the hurt feelings for many years ~ she has paid for it with bad health ~ now she is back where she should be able to talk about it and leave it behind.
Hugs from you would be wonderful at any time my dear MizBohemia :}

Terry ~ We certainly do. Semina can't imagine how her life would have been had her parents stayed together. She probably would not be living in the States.
I am not so sure that divorce is always an awful thing ~ Semina's parents did not have the same dream for their lives ~ had they stayed together they would never have realized their dreams.

At Monday, October 30, 2006 2:30:00 PM, Anonymous neva said...

Beautiful and tender... and so sad. (i actually read this several days ago, and got distracted before i could comment. i'm so sorry.) another fascinating chapter in the life of our fascinating and oh-so-wonderful Semina! well done! xox

At Tuesday, November 07, 2006 6:13:00 PM, Blogger Minka said...

Ah...I could read a novel of this. Every time you make feelings and emotions so painfully clear througha child´s eyes. I feel sorry for little Semina to be caught in the middle of her parents struggle. But they somehow still seem to be very loving towards her.
I am glad i am having a chance of catching up now...


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