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Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Semina Made Up Her Mind

Semina went back to the bus stop and waited for a hour or more. Part of her wanted her Father to come back to get her. He did not, part of her felt relieved. She loved her Father and could not understand how and why he had changed.
Semina’s Mother was waiting for her at the bus stop, when she arrived at her destination.
The minute she saw her Mother she started crying. Her Mother folded her in her arms and whispered soothing words in her ear. They walked back home. Her Grandmother and Grandfather were there waiting for her. They both held out their arms to her and she went from one to the other several times to get big hugs from them. She was home and she was loved.
Semina made up her mind that she would not be crying over every hurt. This may have been a curse or a blessing as many hurts came over the years.
One in particular sticks out in her memory. Her Father’s new wife, decided that they could no longer live in the apartment, where his former family had lived. They bought a very nice little house fixed it up and moved inn. Semina found out about this when her Father met her at the old bus stop. He greeted her by saying “Semina, in the future you need to go two more stops, because I have moved”.
Semina was stunned and though to herself “I guess I must get used to my Father not telling me of any of his plans ahead of time”.
They walked a few feet and her Father stopped in front of a car and opened the door. Then he said just before getting into the car, “This is my new car, I bought it three weeks ago”.
Semina got into the car and said to her Father, “I did not know that you could drive”
He replied, “I took driving lessons last month so that I could drive my new car”
Semina replied “Oh”
They arrived at her Father’s new house and there they were met by her Step-Mother.
“Semina you will be staying with us this time”.
“Do I have a room here”? Semina replied hopefully as she looked around her and saw some familiar things and some new, but old things, antiques.
Her Father was quick to reply “Your Step-Brother is staying in the study, and we have another extra room that my wife uses for her business, so you will be staying in the living room on the sofa”.
“Oh” Semina replied.
Her Father looked at her and said “Is that all you can say”?
Semina ignored the question and asked “Did you bring my old toys, when you moved”?
Her Step-Mother replied “Semina you are much too old for those toys, so we threw them out”
Semina could feel all the blood drain from her face. The toys were important to her, even though she had not seen them for several years, she remembered every one and their every detail.
One of her Uncles had made the little doll bed for her, another Uncle had painted it and decorated it with beautiful roses. Her Grandfather had made her a little ironing board and her Uncle made a little iron out of wood, with a rope cord with a plug on the end. She loved her beautiful toys, they each had a meaning to her, they were hers and no one had a right to throw them out.
Semina could feel anger, hurt and disappointment fighting to come out, but she would not let it happen, she had her pride.
Her Father said to her “What is the matter with you, are you feeling sick”?
“No, I am fine”
“Well, come then, we are going for a drive and we might visit Emilia’s(that was Semina’s Step-Mother’s name) Daughter”.
Semina liked her Step-Sister and it was fun to go over to her house because of her small children, the twins are so cute and they can always put a smile on Semina’s face.

Smiled by Semina :: 4:08 PM :: 3 smiles

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3 Comments:

At Wednesday, December 20, 2006 7:15:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, that is so sad about losing the cherished toys. I can picture each one, especially the iron with the cord. Poor little Semina - brave one.

 
At Friday, December 29, 2006 9:26:00 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read this a day or so ago and needed to let the words come to me before commenting... the sad and heartbreaking part from a child's point of view is the distortion and utter destruction of what was once their safe and inpenetrable reality.. in your case there you were, in a loving home where your mother and father belonged to you and now not only did life take that away from you but your father, who was supposed to always be yours, was no longer so and it seemed, willingly at that. I have lived through that and though the forgiving in time, in conjunction with the forgetting, is all about moving on for one's own sake, such an act is never truly forgiven nor forgotten when seen through a parent's eyes. Does that make sense?

I, for one, tried for ten years to establish a friendship with my biological father but have decided to let it go. I, as a former daughter, have moved on, and as a mother cannot forgive his choices. I have yet to have the talk with him but he drains me too much. He can remain in contact with my childrn as it is not my place to remove him from their lives. He won't harm them. But I don't want him in mine.

Semina was truly compassionate through her pain and for that I truly admire her! Once again, beautiful words my sweet friend!

 
At Friday, January 05, 2007 10:31:00 PM, Blogger Semina said...

Terry ~ I feel sad for my lost toys ~ perhaps this is the reason that I am an artist ~ recreating what was lost to me so many years ago.

MizBohemia: You do make perfect sense to me ~ as an adult I would like to take Semina in my arms and tell her all will be fine ~ Perhaps that is what I am doing here.
My relationship with my Father was never normal ~ cordial but not warm and a Father Daughter relationship it could and should have been had we both been able to be mature about it ~ Semina was to young and inexperienced and her Father was too selfish and a trall to his new wife's every whim.
My lovely friend for you kind words and compassion for Semina it makes her smile her contented smile :}

 

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